davephan
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Horses Announce Tentative Strike Date - 2006/01/23 19:46
Even Horses Are Talking About a Possible Strike
By NORMAN CHAD AOL Exclusive
The call came just before midnight, from an old racetrack source.
"Get here by dawn," he whispered, "if you want the skinny on the strike talk."
"Strike talk?" I wondered. "The whole industry`s in trouble -- how are the jockeys going to go out on strike?"
"It`s not the jockeys," he said.
"What, the trainers? Are they crazy?"
"It`s not the trainers," he said.
"Who then?"
"The horses."
I arrived at the stable area of Churchill Downs a little after 6AM. The door to Barn No. 9 was cracked open, just enough to let me walk into an equine world I had never imagined.
Gathered around a conference table were Fusaichi Pegasus, Charismatic, Real Quiet, Cigar, Point Given, War Emblem and a couple of nags I didn`t recognize. Over in one corner, Silver Charm was hitting on Serena`s Song; in another corner, Medaglia d`Oro paced nervously, smoking a cigarette.
"Glad you could make it," Cigar bellowed.
The very sound of his voice startled me.
"You guys can talk?" I inquired.
"Does a deer crap in the woods?" cracked War Emblem.
"Who knew?" I said. "All those years I watched `Mister Ed` as a kid, I had no idea that?"
"Mister Ed was a crock," Charismatic interjected, cutting me off abruptly. "That was the one horse who couldn`t talk. They had to dub in that voice. He was cheap speed, but he was hooked up."
"Hooked up?"
"Hooked up, connected -- he had juice in the biz, like Sinatra," Charismatic angrily continued. "He was a four-legged testament to `it`s not what you know, it`s who you know.`"
"Hollywood," sniffed Fusaichi Pegasus.
"That was one dumb-ass horse," Real Quiet said, with finality.
We were galloping astray, so I had to bring us back on-track.
"So I hear you guys are thinking of walking out. What`s your beef?"
One of the nags shot me a glance.
"What, you think we live a dog`s life here?"
I decided to cop a little attitude of my own.
"Hey, pal, I`ve been down to the greyhound racing circuit. That ain`t no sport of kings for those poor animals."
"Let me see if I understand your sadly predictable, human point of view," Point Given said, in a patronizing voice. "Baseball players can travel in private chartered jets and bring in $2 million a year, but you don`t think twice when they decide to strike. We get carted around in spare vans and get pennies from the purses we win, and you expect us NOT to raise a hoof in protest?"
Point taken.
So I took out my notebook -- well, actually, I had left my notebook at home, so I took out some cocktail napkins -- and asked the group for their demands.
"I hope you have enough lead in your pencil," Silver Charm chortled.
Cigar took a folded piece of paper out of his coat pocket -- that`s right, he was wearing a jacket, plus he could read -- and ran down the list of labor issues:
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